2.   I am legally separated once I file for divorce.  No.  Your Petition for Dissolution of Marriage or Legal Separation only lists the date you contend is your date of separation from your spouse.

3.   If she/he withholds child support, I can retaliate by withholding visitation for him/her with our children.  NO!   Child support and visitation are not linked.  Even deadbeat dads and deadbeat moms get to visit their children.  However, the failure to financially support a minor child may be one of the factors a family court considers to decide primary custody of that child.

4.   If he/she marries a high earner, my child support payments will go down.  NO.  Your ex’s new spouse, even if they are a billionaire, has no legal duty to financially support your children.  This means your ex spouse could marry a billionaire who flies her/him and your kids around on a private jet and they all live in a large and magnificent estate with servants, and a private chef, etc., and you are still legally required to pay child support. 

5.   If I buy a house with a fat mortgage, I can’t afford child support, so it will go down.  NO.  In fact, under the California child support guideline, your child support will probably increase because that fat mortgage gives you a bigger tax deduction and therefore you have more net money available for child support.

6.   If my name is not on the credit card, I don’t owe the debt incurred during the marriage.  Wrong.  However, there may be some credit card debts incurred by your spouse that a family court will confirm to them. It depends on the facts.  

7.   I can be reimbursed for paying his/her premarital debts.  NO.  That was a good deed and no good deed goes unpunished.

8.   The Court can make the other parent chip in for the kids’ college.  NO.  In California, there is no legal requirement that a parent pay for the college education of their child.

9.   If I quit my job, I won’t have to pay support.  Are you kidding me?   Who told you that?

10. If we’re married more than 10 years, then he/she has to pay for me to get a college education.  NO, that is what your spousal support can be used for.

11. Children can make custody decisions at age 12.  Not very often, if at all.  However, there has been a major shift in California law regarding the custody of minor children age 14 and older.   Children 14 years and older now have the right to express their preference with respect custody to the family court.  How this will manifest itself is still being worked out by the family courts in California.  It is probably unlikely that we will see children on the witness stand in custody cases.

12. If we have equal custody, there won’t be any child support.  Wrong.  Child support in California is determined by a statewide uniform guideline and the timeshare parties have with their children is just one of the factors that is considered in determining child support.

13. I know we’ve been married for 15 years, but our child who was born 15 years ago, isn’t mine.  I want a paternity test.  You’re kidding me, right?  Sorry, too late to ask.

14. If the family court orders me to pay community debts, I can always discharge them in bankruptcy.  Probably not since the bankruptcy laws changed a few years ago.

     The duty to disclose your assets and debts exists until the asset or debt has been divided, either through a written agreement or court order.  You must list all of your assets and debts, even if you contend that an asset is your separate property and even if you contend that an asset is held by a third party.  However, just listing an asset is not good enough.  You also need to disclose its value.  The case of Marriage of Brewer and Federici (2002) 93 Cal.App.4th 1335, illustrates this point.  Ms. Brewer listed her pension plans, but the Court of Appeal stated that she failed to provide accurate and complete valuations of those plans.  The California Court of Appeal stated that Ms. Brewer had a duty to provide accurate and complete valuations of her pension plans to her husband, Mr. Federici.  This led to the parties’ settlement agreement and judgment being set aside. 

     Obviously, some assets have so little value that you could bundle them together and estimate a value.  For example, all of the kitchen appliances, pots, pans, etc.  Normally, these items would be given “garage sale” or “swap meet” value.  Likewise, the big screen television that you bought last year is probably now obsolete and not worth anywhere near what you paid for it.

     What happens if you fail to disclose?   You don’t want to go down that road.  In the case of Marriage of Feldman (2000) 153 Cal.App.4th 1470, Mr. Feldman was sanctioned $250,000.00 by the Court for his failure to provide his wife with information regarding his financial dealings during their divorce.  He was also ordered to pay her $140,000.00 in attorney fees. 

     During the divorce process, nearly everyone who is paying child and/or spousal support immediately calls their attorney if they lose their job or their pay is reduced, because they want to make sure the support they are paying is likewise reduced.   Attorneys rarely hear from a client when they get a raise or bonus during the divorce process.  However, California law requires that you must disclose to the other party immediately upon a significant change in your income.  If your spouse discovers that during the divorce process you failed to disclose a significant change in your income  you could be sanctioned and also ordered to pay all of your spouses attorney fees and costs.  What is a significant change in income?  Unfortunately, we don’t have any guidance on that yet, so just to be safe…disclose.

      In at least one area of California law affecting families, pets have gained important legal rights.  The victim of domestic violence can obtain a restraining order that will award them the sole possession, care and control of their animals.  The victim can also obtain an order that the perpetrator of domestic violence stay away from the animals and not “take, sell, transfer, encumber, conceal, molest, attack, strike, threaten, harm or otherwise dispose of the” animals.  The heading for this order states:  “Animals:  Possession and Stay-Away Order.”  Although this law extends protections to animals, it does not use the words “sole custody” to describe that protection.  This seems to put animals somewhere between property, such as a vehicle or residence and children.  Or does it?  Consider that the restraining order states that the alleged committer of domestic violence is ordered not to “molest, strike, threaten, or harm” the animal.  This language is the same language that is used to protect the victim of domestic violence and their children. 

      Is the California legislature’s decision to extend protection to our animals in domestic violence cases a harbinger of expanded rights for our pets in future divorce cases?  That is a difficult question to answer.  With the exception of the aforementioned restraining orders, there is no California law that deals with pet custody in divorce.  A family court should, however, consider whether awarding a pet to one party would subject the animal to abuse, before making that award. 

     While there is no published California Appellate Court case that directly deals with pet custody in divorce, the emotional link between humans and pets was recognized by former California Supreme Court Justice Armand Arabian in his dissenting opinion in the case of Nahrstedt v. Lakeside Village Condominium Ass’n (1994) 8 Cal. 4th 361, 393, 394.  At issue was a condominium association’s restrictive covenant which banned pets.  Justice Arabian wrote:

“The value of pets in daily life is a matter of common knowledge
 and understanding as well as extensive documentation.  People of
 all ages, but particularly the elderly and the young, enjoy their
 companionship.  Those who suffer from serious disease or injury and
 are confined to their home or bed experience a therapeutic, even
 spiritual, benefit from their presence.  Animals provide comfort at
 the death of a family member or dear friend, and for the lonely can
 offer a reason for living when life seems to have lost its meaning.  In
 recognition of these benefits, both Congress and the state Legislature
 have expressly guaranteed that elderly and handicapped persons living
 in public-assistance housing cannot be deprived of their pets.
 (12 U.S.C. §170r-1; Health & Saf. Code,§19901.) Not only have children
 and animals always been natural companions, children learn responsibility
 and discipline from pet ownership while developing an important sense
 of kindness and protection for animals.  Single adults may find certain pets can   afford a feeling of security.  Families benefit from the experience of sharing that having a pet encourages.”

     Even the Court’s majority agreed with Justice Arabian when it came to the emotional bond between humans and pets, but decided the case against the pet owner on the narrow issue of whether the restrictive covenant was legal.  The reasoning of former Justice Arabian might be the starting off point for a party who seeks joint physical custody of a family pet in a divorce.   Meantime, the idea that pets are merely property is being challenged in family courts across the nation.  Combined with numerous cases on pet custody from other States, so-called secondary legal authority that California Courts may consider, the time may be ripe for a California Appellate Court to consider pet custody. 

      To avoid a pet property or custody dispute, parties might want to consider a pet prenup, which will dictate who gets Fido or Fluffy in a divorce.  Or, if you received your pet as a gift from your spouse or a third party, make sure you get that in writing and keep the writing in a safe place. 

     A final note about sharing pets.  Animal experts tell us that if divorced parties decide to share a pet, they should make sure the pet eats the same food at each residence to avoid stomach upset and that the disciplinary rules should be the same at each residence.  Animal experts also tell us that shared custody may work for a dog, but not a cat.  Cat fans might disagree.

1. Hire an elite CPA.  You need to make sure your business is set up properly, and that your taxes are prepared properly.

2. Hire a bookkeeper and get everything into QuickBooks or some other accounting software with back ups.  You want to do this for reasons that I will explain, below.

3. Don’t “shuffle” or “shift” your income.  Depositing money into a personal account and then transferring the same money into a business account does not pass the smell test.  YOU NEED TO HAVE A SINGLE BUSINESS ACCOUNT WHERE YOU DEPOSIT ALL OF YOUR INCOME!   You take your draws from your business account after you pay your expenses.  Further, there is an accounting presumption that any checks you write from your business account are for expenses, unless they are draws.  This is a rebuttable presumption.  In my experience, having a single business account makes everything clean and tidy, provided you keep it that way.

4. You may find that your business account is low on funds.  When that happens, avoid the temptation to simply pay business expenses form your personal account.  Take the extra step of writing your business an advance and when you get more funds into your business account, then you need to repay yourself.

5. You need to hire a bookkeeper.  YOU DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS YOURSELF.  Why?  Because if the other side takes your deposition, you don’t have to defend each and every entry and withdrawal.  All you need to say is: “I give everything to my bookkeeper and she/he reconciles my books, etc.”  This forces the other side to take the deposition of your bookkeeper as well, and assuming your books are in order, the other side won’t get anywhere. 

6. Stop being cheap.  Seriously, you’ve got to become financially sophisticated and buckle down and pay for professional services like an elite CPA and a bookkeeper.  It is not that expensive and it provides you with a clean record if you ever end up in court.

7. You never want to be in the position of explaining your deposits.  Only your earnings/income go into your business account.  If your parents give you a gift of money that should be placed into your personal checking or savings account.  If your parents or other parties lend you money for your business, discuss how to deal with that with your CPA and/or tax attorney.

 8. If you are getting divorced, make sure your CPA adds back your perquisites and that you account for those perquisites on your QuickBooks or other accounting software profit and loss statement so YOU can tell the Court what you believe your perquisite add backs are, rather than let the other side take the high ground on this.

 www.cnpp.usda.gov/calculatorintro.htm

     The bottom line is what every parent already knows:  Children Are Expensive and that expense doesn’t go away because parents are getting divorced.

     Divorce is not a game of poker.  You don’t get to “hold” your financial cards.  Instead, you must disclose, disclose and disclose.  Think of divorce as a game of poker where all the cards are face up.  Failure to disclose may result in you being hit with serious monetary sanctions.

     In this article, I will give a brief overview of the disclosure requirements regarding income.   Future articles will deal with property, debts and investment opportunities, business opportunities and income-producing opportunities.

     Family Code section 2102 ( c) states: “From the date of separation to the date of a valid, enforceable, and binding resolution of all issues relating to child or spousal support and professional fees, each party is subject to the standards provided in Section 721 as to all issues relating to the support and fees, including immediate, full, and accurate disclosure of all material facts and information regarding the income or expenses of the party.”

     What does this mean?  Simply put, as you are going through the divorce process you must immediately disclose to your spouse all material facts and information regarding any change in your financial circumstances and that disclosure must be full and accurate.  With regard to income, if if pending your divorce you receive a raise, you must report that raise to your spouse fully, accurately, and immediately.  Failure to report may result in monetary sanctions against you.  Likewise, you would report any drop in income or loss of employment, but nearly everyone is quick to report that.

     The duty to disclose income continues from the date of separation through the date your divorce is final.  Some even argue that in cases where child and spousal support are involved, this duty to disclose income continues after the divorce is final—until support is no longer an issue.  I do not share that view because the California Family Code allows each party to demand an exchange of income and expense information and tax returns from the other party once per year after a divorce is final.  You can also build this requirement into your divorce agreement or ask the Court to order the other party to report their income more than once per year, if the circumstances warrant that.  Still, even if your divorce is over and you receive a big raise that would impact support, you might want to consider giving your ex-spouse the information voluntarily, rather than wait until she/he finds out and takes you back to Cour for more child support.  You may be able to settle out of Court and save money that way.

     You should expect that anything you post on social networking sites such as Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, etc., can and will be used against you in your divorce case or post-divorce case.  However, you don’t need to delete all your social networking profiles, provided you understand that a family law judge may read them one day.  If you are comfortable with that, keep using social media.  However, you should probably limit your social media to photos, videos and matters that are innocuous, i.e. matters that are not controversial or offensive.  Dull is good when it comes to social networking sites and divorce matters.

     I recall one former client who testified in court that she never drank alcohol.  However, her social network profile had a picture of her partying with her friends and clearly having a drink.

      A number of attorneys now search social networking sites to get background information, i.e. “dirt” on their client’s spouse or ex-spouse.

     What about e-mail?  Assume that your spouse is able to read all of your e-mail.  So, if you are starting the divorce process, get a new e-mail account. Better yet, if you can afford it, get a new computer—preferably a laptop so you can take it with you.  If you are sharing a computer with your soon to be ex-spouse, assume that you have no privacy and that he/she can and will not only read and copy all of your e-mails, but they will also know each web site you have visited.

Finally, if your spouse leaves the residence, you should still get a new computer or have your computer swept for spyware.  I know of one case where a husband left a very specific type of spyware on the home computer and he could read every e-mail that his wife wrote or received and every web site she visited, even though he no longer lived at home.

This all may sound a bit paranoid, but forewarned is forearmed.

An ounce of prevention in the digital age—where information travels at the speed of light—can be worth a pound of cure.

     However, it is both sexist and just plain wrong to assume that only women can receive spousal support and that women never pay spousal support to men.   The California Family Code is gender neutral and family law courts can and routinely do order wives and ex-wives to pay spousal support to their husbands or ex-husbands.

     Remember, that unless otherwise agreed, spousal support payments are tax deductible to the payor and are taxable to the payee.   However, to obtain the tax deduction, there must be either a court order, judgment or written agreement requiring one party to pay spousal support to the other.

     Here in California, there is a presumption that in a short term marriage, which is defined as a marriage of less than 10 years, spousal support will last no more than one-half the length of the marriage.   However, that is presumption and can be rebutted.   Importantly, a party receiving spousal support should always keep in mind that it is the public policy of the State of California that they become self-supporting within a reasonable period of time, and the failure to do so may be one of the factors a family court considers in reducing or terminating spousal support.

“Don’t let or allow your children to lose their childhood in your divorce.”

“You don’t have to have 50/50 custody to be a 50/50 parent.  Quantity of time is less important than the relationship you build with your child.”

“Don’t abdicate responsbility for your bad behavior to your lawyers.”

First, you must be candid with your lawyer. One of the biggest problems attorneys face are clients who don’t disclose damaging information early in their case. I recall one former client who, only ten minutes before a custody hearing, revealed to me that he had a six-month-old arrest and conviction for drug use. You can bet the other side already knew about it. Your attorney can help with damage control if you tell him or her the “bad” news from the start, or whenever it happens. It usually turns out that something a client thinks is very bad isn’t, or can be mitigated.

Second, be honest about your assets and debts. The last thing you want to do is to try to hide money or property from your spouse. Remember that you, and not your attorney, signs the financial declarations under penalty of perjury.

Third, your divorce lawyer is your advocate, not your therapist or financial guru. There is no substitute for a good therapist to help you through the emotional ups and downs of divorce, and a good financial planner.

Fourth, tell your divorce attorney what’s most important to you. It may be more time with the children, the house, or a favorite antique. Your attorney is not a mind reader. You and your attorney are a “team.” It’s OK to ask your attorney what you can do to keep costs down and help expedite your case through the system. Be proactive and involved.

Finally, don’t get hung up on the “pots and pans.” Remember that all your furniture, furnishings and appliances are valued at the money you could get them at the local swap meet or garage sale. Unless you have art or antiques that can be appraised, there’s no use spending new money in attorney fees and court costs to get old furniture and appliances. Today, these items are commodities and unless you purchased furniture as art, it doesn’t make sense spending thousands of dollars to fight over that old sofa.